God did a wonderful job of making men and woman different. As similar as we are physically to each other there is much more that defines us as humans than simply being male and female. Emotional needs, though similar, vary between men and women which often result in people being misunderstood in a relationship.
Thousands of books have been written trying to bring light to this issue so I will do my best to define a simple solution to this problem in only a few paragraphs.
Women feel love in the conventional sense of the word in the form of affection, loving words, being kind and so on, whereas men feel loved when they are respected. Of course women desire respect and men also desire love but God wired us to desire one over the other. In Marriage Retreat we see couples that are dissatisfied in their marriages because the men don’t feel respected by their wives and the woman don’t feel loved by their husbands.
Men’s minds say, “I feel loved when I am respected so I will respect my wife to tell her I love her.” And on the other hand women think, “I feel love when someone simply loves me so I will love my husband so he feels loved.”
Knowing how different men and women are God gave us specific directions as how to treat our spouse. Respect is naturally prevalent in men, so the Lord told them to love their wives. Likewise, He knew that love comes naturally to women so he said for them to respect their husbands. As simple as this idea may be the implementation of it can be somewhat difficult but not impossible.
On a final note I would challenge you to ask your spouse if you are loving them the way they need to be loved.
Written by: Keith Knight